Now, here is a little story about all the things I know about Wallmart. I used to dislike Wallmart. I thought Wallmart was too big, too corporate. And I thought Wallmart contributed to the downfall of all the nice, little independently owned and operated specialty stores across the land. I thought www.wallmart.comt contributed to the decay of our society by springing up along all the beautiful interstates that crisscross this great country in a virtual kaleidscopic pattern rivaled in beauty only to fractal patterns and string theory. I thought these places were ugly. I was totally wrong about Wallmart and now, its little sister, wallmart.com. The bigger the better! I had a girlfriend who loves wallmart, she's from the South and knows all about these things. I swore I would never ever go to wallmart, but I loved her, and she made me go. She wanted shams and a dust ruffle for out bed and she knew Wallmart would be the least expensive place to go. She was right! Wallmart is so cheap! We could have got three or four dust ruffles at wallmart for the same price as just one dust ruffle at those other guys. I was so impressed with Wallmart and now with www.wallmart.com. I even bought a watch at wallmart.com. It's a Casio Forester digital watch and it not only tells me the time, but it tells me the best times to go fishing. They have everything at wallmart. This watch is so great. It calculates the phases of the moon and the tides and tells you exactly when to go fishing. Right now it's only a one fish time (out of four) so it might not be the best time to go. I think I'll go to Wallmart instead and buy some more stuff!
Okay, you can probably do better than that. What's a really good reason to shop at www.wallmart.com? I don't know. But it makes me sad that there is no wallmart in San Francisco. I can only shop there when I go out of town to say, Sacramento. That whole corridor in the central valley of California, that hot and dusty place that serves as the breadbasket and brain tumor headquarters of the world and a whole bunch of big box stores like Wallmart. Hmmm. Do you think there's a connection? Of course not, silly. Unless you think that low prices go hand in hand with brain cancer. It's the agriculture around there. They use all these chemical, that they don't get from Wallmart.com by the way, that cause so much trouble for the workers. That's why you should probably buy organic produce. You can't get that at wallmart, but then again they don't sell produce. Do they? I don't know. I'm not an expert. Of course organics are generally more expensive but not if you factor in all the societal costs associated with bad enterprise. Health Insurance for example. You get my drift. Yeah! www.wallmart.com. Woooo!